I have always been a person who “connects the dots”, I associate songs, movies, and even some colors with times in my life, and I also have a superstitious clothing issue from an accident many years ago. I will hear a song on the radio and get taken back to a time and place and relive moments, good or bad. Last night I heard a song that I had not heard in years, it took me back to a high school dance, I was a sophomore and it was a big dance, not sure what exactly it was for, but I remember spending the entire day getting ready. The song played as my hair was being done, and during the dance. It was a very special night in my teenage world.
Looking back on that day and night I should be disgusted with my behavior, but I did not think about the horrible things I had done, instead I focused on the fun and “teenage” moments of that day. I have decided that when possible I am going to focus on the good things I can remember, instead of that other crap.
This morning I attempted to “break” my clothing superstitions but that was a failure, I do not think that is something that can be beat right now so I will leave that one alone for now. With that, I realized, again, that I do not have to have 100% success to progress. There will certainly be days where I get stuck in repeat, days where I just feel like a pile of manure, but that is and will be the exception not the rule.
I think one of my New Year’s Resolutions this year will be to watch “Curly Sue” from start to finish, without thinking about “crap” or getting stuck on the “yuck”. Even if I do not accomplish this task this year and have to relist this resolution next year, I know that I am progressing to a better place, I already feel happier than I have in a long time.
Progress is not a Star Trek teleporter, as much as I would like it to be, it is a journey. If I could just jump to the end of this journey right now, it would be for not, I would learn nothing, I have to crawl through the muck, that is what we are supposed to do. Sometimes that really sucks, but when you get to the other side, you are truly so much happier and stronger. It is like the saying “what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger”, I hate it but it is true.
So the next time a song comes on the radio, a movie on tv, or that color ushers in a “flash back” I will focus on the good. In some of the nastiest mud comes the purest clay, and from that clay beautiful art is made, as is with life.